SO LAZY, BUSY BUSY BUSY BULLSHIT BUSY LAZY?
Busy busy watercolour, 2018
Oh My GAWD. I have always felt like I am intrinsically lazy. Probably not something to openly admit. The phrase YOU ARE SO LAZY reverberates in my head constantly. I think as a kid it must have been a seed planted in my head that really took root.
But the older I get, the busier I get, I'm actually kinda reconsidering this belief in myself. Having two degrees under my belt, a crazy family, a lovely home, a beautiful WIP garden, and still teaching most weeks, as well as doing my art practice is being lazy? Hmmmmm.
But the older I get, the busier I get, I'm actually kinda reconsidering this belief in myself. Having two degrees under my belt, a crazy family, a lovely home, a beautiful WIP garden, and still teaching most weeks, as well as doing my art practice is being lazy? Hmmmmm.
Maybe doing two intense courses online, prepping 3 workshops, prepping for a couple of art competitions, finishing off two Sketchbook Journals to be sent to USA, getting myself organised and painting up for a solo exhibition, trying to find the time to edit photos and content for a new website, finishing off a few commissions, sending out stock to retailers and orders online, and then all the emailing and STUFF that goes on with all of this STUFF, and other STUFF too... means that lazy just 'aint an option.
I have gone grey, I have bags under my eyes. I have had a batch of migraines. But it is all good. I think I may NEED all this stuff to happen, because it stops me from thinking too much. And it makes one push through ones barriers!
For example, one of the courses I am doing is a portfolio course, MATS BOOTCAMP through Lilla Rogers, which at one point had me sobbing with overwhelm in the kitchen, salty tears falling into my evening cuppa.
I had been looking at other peeps contributions, and they were all AMAZING. And lots of them were done digitally. And lots of them had books, journals and sticker sheets mocked up in photoshop and other wonderful digital arty apps and programs. And I can barely use the microwave! I had major imposter syndrome happening and felt way WAY out of my depth.
But rather than give up, I thought, BUGGER THAT, and I did what I could. And each assignment since then, I have worked hard with my analogue (hand done) art, and tweaked with the technology I do know, holding firm in the hope that just by doing it I was pushing through. Because doing art I would NEVER otherwise do is actually quite tough.
We were asked to do the contents of a bag, design a tea-leaf reading journal, a magazine page portrait for a long dead female suffragette, and design a tray and bits bobs holder for sewing stuff. The next 2 assignments are still waiting for me to get to... and yes, though tough, I have ended up enjoying it immensely!
tasseomancy journals 2018
Frances Mary Buss, Suffragette, collage 2018
some designs for sewing paraphanalia 2018
Then there was a children's illustration course I did... which was truly EXCEPTIONAL, that I would highly recommend! Thorough, well planned and supported, lots of great advice and wonderfully educational, not to mention inspiring. But intense. Full on. It was through Nina Rycroft, see more here!
I wanted to give this courseware time, but I just could not suck any more out of my days. I did get myself organised with picture workbooks and inspiration books, and worked up sketches, did thumbnails... and a final image. It was far far far, from what I saw in my mind's eye, and I see TONNES of faults in it. But...once again I pushed through usual barriers, and tried something new.
plate of bugs
character roughs
double page sketch and finished art
Phew... Then organising some workshops too. One is at a new venue for me, in Forbes at the spacious, light filled Made of Fridays. Tomorrow! Very exciting!
WOOHOOOO!!!!
And other in Sydney, yep, the BIG SMOKE... at the place that has been super supportive and bloody amazing to be involved with - Little Lane Workshops, and sunshine Sonia. First two are on Sunday 3 June. In fact there are 6 workshops there between now and the end of the year. Bloody brilliant!
Gosh, you know, I really should tell you a bit more about it all, but truthfully, I am SO TIRED, I really do need to sleep, and you are probably bored to tears already by now! And I have to get to the post office. And send some emails. And pack for tomorrow. And get the take home info packs ready. And do some washing. And pick up a child. And get some milk and bread. And print off some stuff. And....
Lets just say, that behind the screen, behind the scenes, there is a lot of STUFF happening. Lots of bullshit busy busy busy, really busy. But not bored. And maybe not lazy? But you know, that voice in my head, it is still there!
Please tell me, do you feel like this too? Or is it just me? Is it a mother thing? A creative person thing? A depression and anxiety thing? A modern life thing... GAH! I wish the voice in my head would tell me!
⇒🎨LINKS TO SYDNEY WORKSHOPS HERE
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